


C*nt get this out of my head

by MindBoggling



Category: In the Loop (2009) & The Thick of It, The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Blasphemy, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Sex, Smut, Smut smut glorious smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:40:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25464880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MindBoggling/pseuds/MindBoggling
Summary: Smut and fluff.I lost the intended plot (what plot) somewhere along the way.Updates don't go necessarily to the end - sorry!
Relationships: Nicola Murray/Malcolm Tucker
Comments: 42
Kudos: 9





	1. For the benefit of Ms. Cassidy

Let‘s just say knowing Malcolm Tucker did have some benefits too.

Sometimes, when his magnificent brain was not wasted on babysitting the PM or bollocking some misbehaving minister, when he had some time on his hand and was a little bored, he was willing and able to have his commanding skills for planning and implementing to be used for other purposes. Sometimes, when there was no one fucking up with his work for the party, he could recover some of his motivation to improve people’s lives. Sometimes, very rarely, when planets stood in an extraordinary constellation, and you felt courageous you could ask him to place his abilities at your disposal without trisking your life.

Because sometimes even Malcolm Tucker found it within himself to orchestrate things simply to increase the well being of those of people.

If you wanted something achieved, this was one of his highly desirable traits. Once he was committed to your cause, he would work just as tirelessly for this as for a general election. To achieve success, he would make people do everything that needed to be done, no questions asked, just as he always did. He would pull any string, silence any rumour, move around any obstacle, just to push every limit.

So you see, if you had some very unruly fantasy that you had not been able to push aside for years, that tormented you, that you were deeply ashamed of, that could never been known to anybody, Malcolm would be the one person who could really make it happen.

You would have to be in his good books though. And you would have to trust him.

This of course limited access to his amazing services to a very small circle of people in London.

Three at the maximum on a very good day.

* * *

Of course one person didn’t even need to ask. She was the perfect PA so he wanted to give her the perfect gift for her birthday.  
Sam was in his good books and to his utter amazement she had never stopped trusting him.

Malcolm always noticed things, especially the small ones people were trying to hide. That was a large part of what made him so scary and powerful. He observed and assessed the weaknesses, the imperfections, the flaws of people and memorized them, to utilize them when needed. He could integrate bits of overheard gossip, his own casual conversations and close observations, hardly forgot any interaction with anybody and always found the buttons to push.

Malcolm had also noticed things about Sam. Sam loved the arts and theatre. Performances, contemporary dance, terrible modern stuff without plot or narrative. She enjoyed going to a godawful place on the South Bank where some semi professionals specialized in interactive performances and were rightfully always close to bankruptcy.

Challenging modern society, smashing gender stereotypes, calling out racism, broadening horizons, Malcolm got migraine just by thinking about the buzzwords.

So on her birthday he gave her two tickets for a performance on friday night.

“Sorry Sam, I would love to come with you. Only I’d rather have my testicles cut off and cooked in ghee than to sit through some weird artsy fartsy shit. I settled everything in advance, there will be an open bar, so why don’t you take one of your friends and have a girl’s night out. Enjoy yourself. I heard the performance is something special.”


	2. Disturbing the priest

Malcolm would never openly admit it, but there were times when he didn’t mind the incoherent way The Right Honorable Nicola Murray’s thoughts came out of her mouth. Quite frequently it actually turned him on to hear her sentences get fragmented and finally reduced to “oh yes… fuck me Malcolm.. yesss... keep going.. please Malcolm...don’t stop.. please don't stop.. almost… there...”.

Afterwards, when he was deeply relaxed and satisfied and idly caressing her soft skin and hair as she lay in his arms, he didn’t even mind the leaps in conversation. This would drive him round the bends at work, and he would shout at her to focus, ye dimwit. He would rather lose his Blackberry to Simon Hewitt than admit he found it quite sweet on private occasions. You would never know where Nicola’s thoughts would end up, but it was nice to hear that she actually did pick up quite a lot on her surroundings. Sometimes her observations were downright useful to him, but he would never tell her that.

She was talking about how Jamie had been attacking Ollie so violently that day that her adviser had been reduced to tears and had to take the rest of the day off. “I know you’re abusive too darling but he takes it to an entirely different level. He is physically threatening … are you sure he won’t punch actually someone someday.. I know I sometimes want to slap Terri or punch Ollie and even you hit poor Glenn once...” - “Never happened at the office Nic’la so I wouldn't worry… he just gets a wee angry at stupid people… d’you know he trained to be a priest for a couple of years? Roman-catholic too… they probably kicked his ass for fucking indecency in thoughts and words and deeds”. “No way.. Jamie as a priest? Celibate? That little horny bastard?” Nicola laughed. “Did you know he pervs on me occasionally?” She blushed a little. Malcolm made a mental note for future reference.

“I forgot you were raised as a catholic too, pet. Imagine confessing your sins to Father Jamie” he smirked. Now that seemed to arouse Nicola’s interest in a very peculiar way. He knew her well enough to notice the thought titillated her in all the right places. He softly caressed her areola and found her nipples hardening fast. “Now Nic’la I just have to check something… would you mind spreading your legs a little...” He pushed the duvet down to her feet and slowly moved his hand between her thighs.

“Ooh.. you naughty girl… do you like the idea of confessing all your dirty little secrets to Jamie.. in that dark confessional… how you get wound up so badly by all those dirty thoughts… how you have to touch yerself...” Nicola moaned as she moved on her side to face Malcolm and press her body against his. Malcolm turned to her to get better access to her wet centre. He slowly moved his fingers around Nicola’s clit that was still sensitive from earlier. Nicola wrapped a leg around his hips and kissed him. “Would you kindly talk me through that scenario, Malcolm, please? You know you can get me to the edge just by talking… but I wouldn’t mind your talented fingers either” she smiled lasciviously.

“It might get very dirty love.. wouldn’t that be blasphemy?” - “I’d never thought I’d hear you mind about that, dirty old man… I’ll have to ask Jamie about that then” she smirked while lazily kneading his butt. “Was more worried about your sweet pure soul Nicky… but seeing you have so many sins to confess… you should definitely go to confession… right now...” Malcolm kissed Nicola’s neck while tenderly twisting her nipples.

“You are the last person waiting..the church is dark and quiet… you haven’t met Father Jamie before… he is younger than your former priest… you anticipate this much from his face behind the grid…” Malcolm licks Nicola's nipples that turn hard as diamonds. “You have a _very_ guilty conscience because you have been masturbating a lot… you get so horny that you have to do it several times a day… and you don’t think about procreation either...” He puts one of his arms around Nicola to keep her close while his free hand slowly moves down her torso and between her legs.

Nicola’s breath is heavy, her face is flushed and she is incredibly wet. “You dirty little girl… touching yourself all day… all those dirty fantasies you come up with... thinking about that sexy newsagent taking you in his back room… or maybe even taking you by your back door… panting and screaming as he pushes inside you… do you always take your fingers when you wank? Maybe you like to push things inside you… or rub against something… oh, you like that, don’t you… now you better tell Father Jamie all about it... you know how it is important to thoroughly clear your conscience… so you better tell him about the thoughts at the osteopath too… you got so wet just by imagining he would only treat your back if you got entirely naked…”

Nicola moans and pushes her hot flesh against his hand. “Oh yes… he would treat me… thoroughly… holistically… versatile...with every technique..” Malcolm enters two fingers in her hot centre and curves them against her inner wall. “Mmhm you liked that didn’t you… you better tell Father Jamie about how much you would like his fingers and his tongue… and how his cock would press against your naked body...” Nicola pants as Malcolm starts to move his fingers inside her.

“You need to tell him how much you like cock… how much you need it… how you want to be fucked so much… he cannot give you absolution if you are not entirely honest darling” Malcolm kisses her and lets his tongue caress her torso. “Malcolm… he can’t grant me absolution.. I don’t regret... I want to do it again… I need it.. I need relief...” - “Well maybe Father Jamie will give you relief then… it’s his pastoral care after all… or maybe you got him so desperately horny now he’ll do everything to let you come… tell you it’s a sin while fucking you with his fingers… you feel them inside your pussy... he puts a thumb on your clit and moves it hard… just like this… tells you you’re a bad girl and need to come for him now… he knows how to finger you to get you there… he wants you to moan for him… he groans... you need to come right now or you will both rot in hell tonight… he’s desperate… he gets faster and faster...”

“Ooh… Father Jamie… what are you doing to me… oh… this is wrong Father Jamie...” Nicola groans… her body starts to shiver as she approaches orgasm…

Malcolm pushes her clit with his thumb now and whispers “Oh you dirty girl… he is so hard now and wants to fuck you… but he needs to let you come first just to hear your beautiful voice utter all the filth that built up inside you… needs you to scream your release… yeah.. just like that Nicky… come for me Nicky you naughty girl… come for me…” Nicola digs her nails in Malcolm’s shoulders as her orgasm makes her twitch violently and spreads her wetness all over his hand. He slowly moves his fingers out of her and keeps her firm in his arms until she comes down.

“Thank you Malcolm… you were amazing” Nicola smiles happily at him, all sweaty and infinitely relaxed. “My pleasure pet, you were very inspirational”. He softly kisses her and covers her with the duvet.


	3. Welcome to the pleasure dome

On her birthday night Sam and her best friend Jill arrive at the small venue on South Bank. It looks completely different to earlier visits. The entrance has been decorated like an exclusive old fashioned night club. They are greeted by a very distinguished maitre in a tailcoat and top hat. He slighty bows to welcome them.

Inside the entire place has been redecorated by some talented construction managers to resemble Santorini as it looks on photos. All white and blue, beautiful flowers everywhere, a wonderful smell in the air. It is the golden light before sundown and it's warm with a light breeze. It is obviously scenery but done with so much attentiveness to detail, it feels somewhat real. It is one of the most beautiful places Sam has ever seen.

They are met by an elegant lady in a stunning white dress with golden ornaments. “Welcome to The Olymp. I am Aimée and will be your host tonight. In a moment’s notice I will invite you to the salon to tell you about tonight’s experience. But first of all, please follow me to the dressing room for a change of costume.

Sam and Jill follow Aimée to a large and softly lit room with large mirrors and a long rack of historical costumes. “You look ravishing, ladies, but we encourage a change of clothes to fully enjoy tonight’s performance. Decide which mask you will be wearing this evening and slip into a goddess’s persona by choosing a dress and matching jewellery. You won’t be needing any money tonight so why don’t you put you belongings in one of the lockers. They will be well looked after. I shall be back in about fifteen minutes to assist you with a matching hairstyle”.

“This is something new” says Sam and browses through the clothes. They range from simple white tunics made of linen or silk to modern dresses that might be a fashionista’s interpretation of greek goddess. She feels an excitement building up inside her body that creates a mixture between giggle and thrill. Malcolm knows her better than she gives him credit for, she thinks.

Jill does not seem to enjoy herself. She actually looks deeply embarrassed. “Sam, I am sorry. I know it's your birthday and you must think I am such a bore. But... you know I am not as keen on performances as you and I fucking hate masquerades. Would you mind terribly if I called it a night?”  
Sam smiles warmly and hugs her. “It’s fine, Jill. I know how much you hate interactive stuff. I remember when that comedian pulled you on stage.. I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”  
“Sorry sweetheart.. I hope you will still have a fun night”. Jill kisses her on the cheek and leaves.

Sam decides on a simple sleeveless white tunic that is fairly short. She thinks it will look great with a golden belt and sandals. As she starts undressing, she is quite glad she decided to celebrate her birthday by wearing her sexiest underwear. It is black though and it does show through the thin fabric. “You’re a goddess Sam, you won’t need a bra” she thinks to herself, a titillating feeling spreading through her belly. “No use wearing matching knickers either then”. She stifles her excited giggles as she takes off her underwear, slipping in the silken tunic that feels amazing on her nipples. She highlights her slim waste with a golden belt and laces up the sandals. She decides to go low on the jewellery and only attaches that iconic golden bangle on her upper arm.

When Aimée returns, she smiles at Sam approvingly. “That look seems to be made for you… you are a beautiful woman… may I suggest something for your beautiful hair? You have such an elegant neckline”. She gets some hairpins from the accessories table and smoothly forms a fishtail braid for a half-updo she then decorates with a golden Greek inspired hair piece. Sam smiles at herself in the mirror. Her hair never looked better. Aimée fastens a golden mask on her head that gives her an air of mystery Sams think.

Aimée steps a little back and admires Sam’s figure. “You do look like a goddess. Now, we would like to offer you the choice of name we shall adress you by this evening. You will be worshipped as a Goddess by the performers and addressed by this name by other Goddesses. Do you have anything in mind?”

Sam has to think for a moment, she has never been asked deciding for a different name for herself. “Pandora?” she asks. “Excellent choice. Are you ready to follow me?”

* * *

It looked like a Greek agora in front of a mountain. Some small buildings were scattered around the place, the temple located the furthest away. Some signs seemd to declare building as the market, the blacksmith, the gymnasium, the school and private housing.

It was all makebelieve, Sam knew, but she was thrilled. In the shades of some olive trees sat a couple of women clad in several greekish styles. Aimée offered Sam a seat and a glass of wine.

“Now our first circle of Goddesses is complete, let me welcolme all of you to the Olymp. May all Gods look favourably on this night”. She raised her glass.

“This is Pandora. Let me introduce your fellow goddesses Artemis, Hera, Nyx, Aphrodite, Dike, Eos and Maia.” All goddesses smiled and drank.

“'The Olymp' is an experience entirely created and curated by women. In the theatre, much as in the world outside, the male view dominates. Tonight we want to challenge that. How we experience the world is often very different to the male perspective. A lot of us have adapted to the pressure of patriarch structures by resenting power, never raising our voices, never asking for what we truly want, by fulfilling everybody’s need but our own. 'The Olymp' is designed to empower you, to start reclaiming your half of this world.

We do this by challenging a central aspect of life that may be most mutilated by a male centered society: our female sexuality and desire. 'The Olymp' is a female utopia for women who desire men. We have designed this space for you to be safe, to not be judged, to not bend to anybody’s wishes but your own.

Here at the agora is the place where there will be songs and games and talks for Goddesses and performers to share. In a secluded area there will be female only secret conversations about pleasure and lust.

You can always come here to relax, have a drink, enjoy yourself at the dancefloor or talk to other goddesses. You will find me and my co-host Diana around here to ask any question or to book a one on one-performance. We have ten male performers trained by performance artists and sexperts from London and Amsterdam. They will offer their one-on-one-performances. Some of these can be intense so we will do our utmost to help you choose the one best adressing your needs.

There will be fellow goddesses arriving about every two hours during the night, as you are of course free to leave at any point of the evening. Together we will celebrate that we can desire men together not against each other, to learn, that there is enough for everyone, if we just stop competing.

The rules we ask you to to respect are:

1\. Everyone has the right to be sexy. We don’t judge, we don’t compete.

2\. Everyone has their boundaries. Name them, respect them, let them be moved or let them stand.

3\. Everyone has the right to lose control and to find it back again.

4\. This is not a service, it is art. Things are bound to go wrong, and that is alright.

5\. This is your space. You will be safe here.

6\. What happens at the Olymp stays at the Olymp. Please respect each other’s privacy.

7\. There will be no penetration.

8\. You may say yes to any offer that is made to you. You will not have to say no.

  
  



	4. Don't stand so close to me

After the Cabinet Meeting, Malcolm called Nicola to his office.

It had taken them some time to work out an arrangement to keep private things private until Nicola could finally divorce James. Not an easy task with all the nosey parkers of DoSAC and Number Ten seemingly determined to make this impossible for them. Malcolm F. Tucker, Director of Communications, and Malcolm, Nicola Murray's secret lover, had fought each other passionately for an agreement that would work for all sides. When he had convinced himself it would work, he had dedicated one quiet evening to get Nicola out of the habit of blushing as soon as someone as much as hinted about one of them having sex.

If Nicola had thought that after two years of wotrking with Malcolm she could imagine every single dirty joke, sexual innuendo or suggestive remark possible, she had been very wrong indeed. The Director of Communications had risen to the occasion and been very thorough in training her to react coolly to any indecent remark. The lover meanwhile had been very pleased to notice how much this had turned Nicola on. Until then he had not realised how much this lass liked it when he talked dirty. Well, being Malcolm Tucker did have some benefits...

Malcolm seriously hoped this happy little schizophrenia would work until the election would allow them to come clean. They scrupulously avoided to arrive or leave at the same time and never talked about private matters unless they were certain no one could disturb them. Sexting was strictly confined to their private mobiles, the safety distance between their bodiesin public to be at least six foot at all times. All this had helped to keep their affair secret and of course they had kept fighting and shouting a lot at each other at work. Strangely enough that seemed to be the easiest part. Nicola suspected Sam might have noticed something regardless but if the great Tucker could trust his PA, so could she.

When she got to his office he simply asked her to substitute for the Minister for Education the next day who might or might not have had a bizarre accident while having or not having sex with someone not their spouse. “Schroedinger’s adultery” thought Nicola. “How appropriate I should stand in”.

“ Now Nic’la this shouldn't* be too difficult so no need to twist yer knickers. Somewhere in fucking East Anglia the former seminary of St. Hugh’s has been sold to the council. Rededicated to offer accomodation for people in need. Cheers all round, Catholic Church gets more cost-effective, local council gets a good deal, everybody happy. Basically you show up, smile, cut a ribbon and have some photos taken. Don’t talk about the homeless, don’t talk about the wealth of the church, just smile and fuck off after half an hour”” - “Seriously Malcolm, a stoned monkey could do this.” - “ Yeah, fucking monkeys have proven their competence. But I'll have to make do with you. So repeat after me: Win-win, bright future, well done everybody. Just stick to the line”.

“You ask me to squeeze this useless event into my full agenda, knowing full well I need to eat at some point. I might at least have a break to have tea at the refectory”. - “Squeeze it as you like, we can’t have shitty pictures of you while eating, sorry. “

For once Nicola was determined to have it her way, even if it made her sound like an obstinate child. "We're not all thriving on coffee and skinny muffins Malcolm. I want to have tea and scones or I’m not going.” She knew she was pouting now. Oh god, hopefully she hadn't stamped her foot on the ground too. - “Ok, won't let your starve, Nicky, but then I will have to send Jamie along” - “Oh for fuck’s sake, don’t you trust me to manage a tiny thing without a babysitter?” Malcolm smirked " I won't even dignify that with an answer". - “Alright, but couldn’t you at least make it Glenn? Jamie is always scaring people” - “ Sorry love but if I need some photographers to be smashed it’ll have to be someone more scary than Grandpa.”

When Nicola left his office, Malcolm might have looked the tiniest bit pleased with himself.

Then he called Jamie. "Listen, I need ye to go to this St. Hugh's thing tomorrow. Nicola's standing in for the Secretary for Education and... hahaha, yes, they were actually caught in the fuckin' act and they had to poke a needle to his dick at the A&E... yeah, got this covered, but I won't have this press opportunity at St. Hugh's being shat upon by it, we need the publicity... yeah, but ye know how Nicola will fuck up the unfuckable.. I need ye to stop her from saying or doing anything stupid... I don't care how ye do it, Jamie, I want to see a fuckin' happy ending... just get her away from press and public a.s.a.f.p... ".

Malcom had a mischievous smile on his lips when he ended the call.

If you had some very unruly fantasy that you were deeply ashamed of, Malcolm would be the one person who could action it and have no scruples doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * None of this should be happening, should it? Should it?


	5. In the temple of love

Aimée smiled. “Why don’t we welcome your servants now. They are all free citizens, not slaves. They are here to serve you on their own free will because you are goddesses and they beg to worship and please you tonight. All of them will attend to your every need at the agora, in addition some will be performing one-on-one for you later." She clapped her hands.

From the temple road Diana appeared, a curvy blonde woman in a very elegant long tunic hugging her body. She led a procession of some twenty men of different shapes and ages, all dressed in knee-length white trousers, sandals and open waistcoat on their naked chest. Diana had them stand in a demi circle opposing the goddesses and present their gifts. They were carrying amphorae and small vessels with oil, bowls and towels, plates full of fruit, sheets of linen and silk, palm leaves and peacock feathers. Sam allowed herself to look over the men in good measure. They were smiling and looking confident. One or two of them she found instantly attractive. She smiled at her rising heart beat and thought “This is no speed dating, Sammy, calm down”.

As the other women slowly started mingling with the servants, she felt a shyness that she associated with the unknown in general, but also with the intimate atmosphere. Aimée smiled warmly at her. “Take your time, Pandora. I understand you were gifted this night by a friend, not knowing what to expect. The other goddesses decided for themselves to explore The Olymp. You are truly courageous and open-minded. Please know we will keep your back at all times. The most important rule for tonight is that you are encouraged to give voice to your wishes and desires and that there will be no need to say stop. Everything that happens will be your choice, to be answered in the affirmative to every offer made, to any step of the way.”

With an elegant move of her hand Aimée summons one of the servants, a young man with dark curls and a sweet smile, who comes closer, bows and keeps at a respectful distance to them. “Would you like to start with a relaxing washing of your feet by Dimitrios? He gives the most amazing massages.” Sam smiles. That would be a nice thing. She had tried foot reflexology once and found it very relaxing. “So Dimitrios, you are granted the right to serve the Goddess Pandora now” says Aimée and leaves.

Dimitrios kneels in front of her, puts down a large amphorae full of hot water, an empty bowl, a small vessel and some soft linnen. He may be about her age, slim, not very tall, with classic features that might actually hint to greek ancestors, and a very sweet smile.

“May I remove your sandals, Goddess Pandora?” he asks with an attentive look to her eyes. His voice is pleasant and calm. “Yes Dimitrios”.

She feels his soft hands slowly opening the ribbons of her sandals, his fingers ghosting over her bare calves, creating goosebumps on her body.

“Would you like to put your feet in this bowl, beautiful Pandora?” Sam would. She answers in the affirmative as he asks her before he adds warm water and some olive soap. This is so good, she thinks, she often forgets how great it feels to take care of her feet after a long week of running around at work.

Dimitrios smiles at her. “Is this pleasant for you? May I touch your feet and massage them to help you relax?”. She nods and thinks “Oh god, yes. A sweet greek guy kneeling in front of me massaging my feet might do wonders for my system”.

Dimitrios spreads warm oil on her left foot before caressing her toes and firmly kneading the ball of her foot, oh gods, yes, right there, oh yes.

He reduces the pressure to stroke the back of her foot and fondle the arch and this is such a sensual experience Sam twitches a little. When he increases the pressure again at the heel and the ankle Sam feels the tension of days melting away. Her foot rests in Dimitrios warm and skilled hands as her mind flows freely.. safe and warm like on a sunny cloud… nothing needs to be done… nothing needs to be said… she cannot remember the last time in such a state of bliss.

“Is everything to your wishes Pandora? May I start with your other foot?” - “Oh god, yes, please do”. He gently puts her left foot down before taking her right foot to dry it softly and spread warm oil over it. Sam focuses on her foot to savour every moment. The gentle but firm massage of her toes lets her muscles relax and sents a spark of warmth up her legs right to her centre. Her foot and her pussy are suddenly short circuited. She feels every movement, every touch of Dimitrios fingers relaxing her foot and making her feel the tension of her middle.

As he strokes her foot she imagines him sucking on her toes.. slowly licking along the arch of her foot, kissing her ankles, caressing her calves, his magic fingers doing wonders on her tensed body.. so good… hell, if he takes so much pride in this task, she would so enjoy a full body massage… Sam allows herself to imagine them both naked, Dimitrios pouring warm oil over her body, his gentle hands slowly moving his way towards the small of her back, to her full hips, her round and sensitive bottom.. Sam closes her eyes and melts into his touch, sighing in pleasure at his touch.

Maybe he would ask her if she would like to turn around. Maybe she would. Maybe he would slowly and expertly massage her neck and shoulders, moving tentatively down to caress her breasts, noticing the smallest of her reactions, circling her pebbling nipples as she moans in delight, stroking her hips and abdomen, moving down her legs and purposefully leaving out her aching centre that longs for his touch.. caressing her whole body with his warm hands and elegant fingers until she cannot wait any longer.. she needs to open her eyes to let him ask the important question… “May I worship your inner temple, Pandora?”.

Oh Gods, yes, yes, please. Dimitrios would ask her to spread her legs, then place his palm on her vulva to let her relax. This feels so good… his hand resting there... so warm and safe… the tension starts to subside.. before his tender fingers softly spread her lips and stroke gently through her folds.. this is amazing… she feels relaxed and aroused at the same time… the pleasure inside her builds up very slowly.. this is so different to any guy touching her to get her turned on as quickly as possible so they can penetrate her… this is all about her, about pleasure and wellbeing, not the quick release for the mounting pressure… it’s the opposite of demands and needs.. she receives without having to give, she is attended to as long as she desires, she does not have to do anything, say anything, think about anyone else now… this is not about reaching a climax, it is worship and devotion and it is pure bliss.


	6. Manipulation

He has never seen Nicola this angry before. She slams the door open and starts shouting without even noticing Sam is there. “You fucking manipulative bastard! Who do you think you are? You repugnant soulless excuse for a human!”

He is always turned on by the extent of Nicola's passions and her fury makes no exception. Resistance is never futile with Malcolm, he needs people to stand up to him and getting them angry is his preferred way of challenging them.

“Well if this isn’t Queen Sourpuss back from her church picknick” says Malcolm in his best imitation of a mocking calm voice. “Sorry Sam, will you excuse us? And no calls or visitors please”

“Is this your kind of fun now? Setting up mines so you can laugh when I step on them? This turn you on? Bollocking me afterwards when the shit hits the fan? You’re mind is seriously fucking disturbed Malcolm.” Nicola fumes and she looks beautiful and strong.

“Much as I would love to hear about your last fuck up Nicola I am sorry but this will have to wait”. He winks suggestively.

Nicola is too harried to notice as she paces in front of his desk. “You want me to resign, is that it? That’s what this is about? Oh god, I can’t believe I trusted you.”

Oh fuck, now Nicola looks hurt beneath her anger. Are those tears in her eyes now? How did he not see that coming, she is an emotional clusterfuck, he knows that, much as irritates the fuck out of him.

He has to comfort her, damn that six foot rule. Malcolm gets out of his chair and walks over to her. He grabs her wrists and holds her still for a moment so she will have to look at him. His voice is very low so no one outside those paper thin walls should overhear them.

“Now Nic’la you will have to trust me that there is no damage done that needs to be controlled. Everything went exactly as briefed. I need you to debrief in every detail as soon as possible. But not now”. He briefly touches her face and caresses her mouth with his thumb. “Why don’t you suggest a time that would suit you”. He pulls his private mobile out of his pocket and wiggles it. He brushes her lips with his mouth and whispers “Now get your sweet little ass out of my office and slam the door behind you, will you?”

He winks at her again and is relieved to find a look of beginning comprehension. “Someday you’ll be the death of me Malcolm Tucker” she sighs before stepping away from him.

“You are a fucking monster Malcolm and I am bloody sick of your schemes” she yells as she storms out of his office, slamming the door behind her and rushing out of Number Ten.

“Sam? Sam! Could I have a coffee now, is that possible?”

* * *

Sam brings his coffee and some biscuits five minutes later and finds him going though somepapers with pluckered brows. She places the coffee carefully next to him and politely clears her throat. He looks up to her curiously.

“She is right Malcolm. Your schemes tend to be a little on the manipulative side. I know you mean well but you encroach on people.” Malcolm would never have anybody talk to him like that, but this is Sam, sweet Sam, who actually cares for him despite having seen him at his worst. “Care to elaborate?”

She looks at him sternly. “You think you know what’s best for people.. you actually believe you know it better than themselves. You may be even right... but they still deserve the right to decide for themselves.”

She smiles at his confused look. “I learned so much from your birthday gift Malcolm. I don’t think you can comprehend how much you have bestowed on me.”

“You never told me anything about that thing”. -”Too artsy for you Malcolm” Sam grins.

“But as I think you owe Nicola an apology and as you never say sorry, I could try to book a ticket for her. I think she might find it as inspiring as I did”.

  
  



	7. The romance goes when the promises break

Malcolm had Sam do as she suggested. She was so good at this “humany feely” stuff. He got through his busy schedule without thinking much about the whole thing. When it got quieter in the evening he finally had the time to check his private mobile. No fucking messages. So he’d probably better ride to DoSAC for some grovelling.

Luckily Nicola’s bunch of useless wankers had already fucked off. “Hey Nic” he said softly, “could we talk just now?”

“Do we have to Malcolm? I’m seriously exhausted and would rather go straight home”. - “No no no, please don’t Nicl’a. You know this whole fucking ‘not going to bed before a fight is settled’? If you piss off now... it’s just like that. Not going for the make-up sex there.. just talk to me..”

Nicola hesitated.

“I’ll order pizza” Malcolm offered and bugger, she was hungry and the kids would have eaten by the time she got home. Another lonely night was not too tempting.

“You’re paying and we’ll eat in the conference room”.

Politics is compromise after all.

* * *

Nicola made him sit at the opposite side of the table for the conversation. “Can’t have you touch me if we want to talk properly” she said with a half smile. “Now promise you’ll not interrupt before I’ve finished. You’ll only answer my questions. I’m not doing this as a panto routine and I won’t have any shouting.”

“Alright pet.”

He might never have seen her acting this professional ever before. She actually got her shit together for this.

“It would seem that today’s thing in East Anglia that you asked me to fill in for the Secretary of State for Education was shall we say adapted to me standing in for him?”

“Aye”. _No harm done, eh?_

“I strongly suspect that you did not so much think it were strictly _necessary_ to have Jamie accompany me but intended to add some shall we say extra-professional entertainment?”

“Aye”. Malcolm’s face was all innocence with a little sparkle in his eyes.

“Malcolm, how could you? I told you about one of my most intimate fantasies and you use that against me? You set me up with that psycho mimicry of a priest leering at me the whole time to do what exactly? Fuck me?”

“Thought it wouldn’t harm to.. ye know.. to act it out a little more..with someone who knows the whole concept” Malcolm’s smile was getting more and more dirty.

“MALCOLM TUCKER! IF I WANTED TO FUCK JAMIE MCDONALD I WOULD FIND BETTER WAYS TO ACCOMPLISH THAT”.

Nicola closed her eyes and tried to calm herself with slow breathing. _All calm and rational, Nicola, you can do this._

“Malcolm, do you remember we agreed to keep our affair separate from work and that includes NOT SETTING UP SEX TRAPS FOR A MINISTER OF THE CROWN?”

_Oops. Lost it again, Nicola._

“Eh, now you mention it… yes.”

“So do we agree you’re being the asshole here and something like this will never fucking ever happen again?”

“Yes ma’am”.

“Okay. Good. Now you may speak”.

“I’d rather touch you”.

“Well seems you were right about one thing today. No make-up sex”.

“Fuck”.

“No sex again ever if you don’t explain what on earth possessed you to set this up.”

_Malcolm was confident about sex. Like totally confident. He loved having sex, he loved talking dirty, to have Nicola talk dirty, to write downright pornographic texts to her._ _He did shamelessly shout all kind of filth at people all day._ _There was one thing though... tiny thing... not worth mentioning... he found it difficult to talk to her about his fantasies and wishes... apart from when he was holding her in his arms in the dark. Not that his fantasies were pervert, right? …_ _He had had plenty of sex before Nicola and some of it had been quite kinky.._ _. He was a grown-up man for fuck's sake and he certainly did not blush while trying to talk to her about his secret fantasies.. but to actually tell the woman he lov.. ..Nicola about them.. with her looking at him..._ _in a fucking neon lit conference room too..._ _was sending him to hell._

“Malcolm?”

“Nic, do you mind if I turn the other way?" He evaded her gaze. "It's just... just for a couple of minutes.. to get this right.”

“You never cease to amaze me Malcolm Tucker, but yes, by all means, do.”

Malcolm turned his chair around and looked through the glass to the empty hallway.

“Nic’la, it’s.. well.. you know when we talked about Jamie... about you confessing your sins.. all your dirty thoughts and words and deeds.. you were so turned on just by thinking about it… and then you let me masturbate you and fuck, it was the hottest thing ever... and I couldn’t get rid of the images... it haunted me... .I’m not religious but the whole scenario... it’s secret and dangerous and forbidden...and the fact you risk being caught… it made me want to take you to a church and fuck you senseless in one of those silly cupboards… I shouldn’t have.. I know.. but when I decided you needed baby sitting the thought of Jamie came up... and then some short circuit happened... I kept imagening you being fucked by Jamie at that place... it turned me on like hell… I know... I shouldn’t have put you through this at work. I’m sorry Nic’la.”

That he had apologised seemed to mollify Nicola a little. He could tell by her voice that seemed to soften ever so slightly.

“So what caused the fuse to blow Malcolm? You wanting to watch me fuck someone else? Wanting to watch Jamie? Or is it knowing you can manipulate us, use us as your little puppets that gets you hard?”

“Watching you Nic'la… god, you’re so hot when you come... to help you fulfil your fantasies... to make you come so hard... to do some real dirty stuff... something risky... everything we can't have right now... Christ sometimes I want you so much Nicl'a.. I’m not sure how much I would like to watch you _actually_ fucking someone else.. but the thought... it made me get so hard.”

“Is that it Malcolm? Can you turn around again now?”

“Yes ma’am”.

“You know we need to talk about these things right? To examine where we have common grounds to explore. I will not tolerate any coaxing into things one of us is not entirely comfortable with.”

“Yes ma'am”.

“Malc, I love role play. I love imagining completely ordinary settings that turn into porn slowly and seductively… fuck, I would love acting some of them out with you. But I absolutely insist on consent all along the fucking way. This is essential Malcolm. I don’t do non-consensual. Not even in fantasies. I need to know I can trust you to respect that. Otherwise this is it. To paraphrase a popular Scottish band “ don't need your tricks and treats, don't need your ministration, your bad determination”.

Nicola’s voice was firm.

“Nic’la, you’ve got to trust me... I didnae mean to do anything non-consensual.... I was a colossal cunt. I’m sorry. “

“You better be. I’ve been married long enough to someone who doesn’t respect me and my decisions.”

Nicola got up. “Okay, time to go home then. Will you call the driver please?”

“Yes ma'am. Can I kiss you now Nicola?”

“I guess there’s no harm done in a make-up kiss.”

Malcolm went over to softly kiss Nicola. _Fuck, that had been close._

“Sorry pet.. will do better, I promise”.

“You better… I confessed all my dirty thoughts about you to Jamie today and it would be such a waste not to turn some of them into dirty deeds”.


	8. Tell her about it

Malcolm was tired but looking forward to meeting Nicola in the comfort of his own home tonight. It had been a particularly long day of mopping up other people‘s shit and he was, for the want of a better word, yearning for her soft touch. And for her firm touch right after that. And for his hands to move all over her smooth skin. Christ on a bike, if that wasn‘t something to look forward on coming home, he didn't know why people bothered getting married.

It wasn‘t easy to make room in two busy agendas to meet up, especially if you could not hand it over to Sam. Malcolm had soon given up on meeting in hotels - it seemed to make things even more complicated and created more witnesses. He had given Nicola a key to his house after having her swear on the life of her children never to use it without his affirmation, never to let an official driver take her there and to always use the fucking back entry. And she had never betrayed his trust.

He found the house quiet and dark, apart from some light in the lounge area. He put down his coat and key and went to find her.

Nicola was sitting on his sofa, dressed in an impeccable black dress, peering at him atop her reading glasses with a severe look. She had even put on her former robe which gave him a certain thrill.

„Mr. Tucker, glad you could make it to today‘s mediation procedure“

Malcolm sat down in the armchair across her and smiled cautiously. „I would not dare to miss this, my lady“.

„Mr. Tucker, is it correct that you called the complainant a „daft old bint“ this morning in cabinet?“.

Oh. Oh, well, he might have. That's what he did, right? Shout at people, humiliate them. They had been in agreement not to give each other a special treatment at work, hadn‘t they?

„Yes my lady“.

„ Mr. Tucker, this is a very severe incident as you are probably aware. I will not tolerate you being disrespectful against the complainant again, do you understand?"

„Yes my lady. I won't do it again. I am very sorry my lady.“

„Do we both agree that you will have to compensate the complainant for this Mr. Tucker?“

He wasn‘t sure he read this correctly but he hoped she was talking about sex. He was encouraged by a slight smirk playing on Nicola‘s lips.

„Yes my lady."

„Are you willing and able to settle this tonight Mr. Tucker?“

„Yes my lady.“

Nicola removed her reading glasses and put them on the table.

„Seeing your remorse and acknowledging your immaculate behaviour so far I will give you a choice. I sentence you to either being gagged the entire night while thorougly compensating the complainant or failing that to sending her over the edge with your words alone while neither touching her or yourself. The procedure is closed. There will be no appeal against the jurisdiction.“

Malcolm fell silent for a moment. Then he smiled and told Nicola make herself comfortable on the sofa.

He got up to dim the lights. Then he got some glasses of wine from the kitchen and settled down in his armchair.

* * *

"Let me tell you about the first time we met, Nicola. I came round to DoSAC to break you in as a new minister, but when I saw you I nearly lost it. You looked so beautiful in that flowery dress, so innocent and enthusiastic to change the world. I had to tell you about all the atrocities the press piles up on politicians that step out of line, how your every step, your every word would be used against you when all I wanted was to push you against one of those glass walls and fucking devour you. I had you stand up because I was scared to sit down and make the fabric of my trousers touch my boner and have me come there and then.

I knew you were married but I still had filthy thoughts about you every single fucking time you came to Number Ten. I imagined touching you inappropriately every time we passed in a corridor. And trust me, we passed each other a lot more than we needed to. I had fantasies of calling you to my office late at night to bollock you and somehow drag the conversation into something very dirty. I am still ashamed of some of my fantasies."

Nicola has closed her eyes. She is lying on the sofa listening to him. "Tell me about them".

"I dreamt of using my power on you Nicola. Of using you. To call you to my office, shout at you, then make you go to the window and close the curtains. While you obeyed, I'd step behind you and let my hands wander all over your body. Very lightly, while talking some more about your duties to the party, teasing your nipples and slowly letting my hand move around you to slip inside your skirt waistband. I'd hear you inhale sharply, I'd be aroused by your helplessness, by your being completely at my fucking mercy. I would command you to obey all the party's wishes, to be a good little minister, to do exactly as you were told, while I'd put my fingers inside your pussy and massage you gently. You would moan against your will and promise to do anything I would command, anything to get on my good side again."

Malcolm shifts a little in his seat. He is getting close to some of his dark desires now and is scared that Nicola will be shocked. He looks over to the sofa to find Nicola massaging her breasts with closed eyes. "I want to get on your good side again, Malcolm" she breathes.

Malcolm feels a painful knot in his stomach. "I need you to be my dirty little slut Nicola".

"Oh Malcolm you randy devil" moans Nicola.

"I need you to undress and sit on my desk while I stay clothed and watch you touch yourself"

"Oh Malcolm!" whispers Nicola in a mock scared voice. "Imagine someone got in now"

"You need to obey Nicola. I made you a minister and I could crush you just as easily. Spread your legs and touch yourself".

"Oh Malcolm!" mocks Nicola, but he sees one of her hands slowly creeping between her legs.

"You will tell me how much you want me... how much you need my cock, and my cock alone to fuck you... you will take one of my pens to play with your sweet nipples and spread your lips and show me how wet you are... I will have you beg for me... even when my office door slowly opens.. you cannot stop moving your fingers inside your pussy.. licking you lips and burning a hole in my trousers with your eyes"

"Oh yes Malcolm... I need you to fuck me.. please fuck me..."

"You'll hardly notice when someone enters the room. You don't care.. you don't care who watches, you don't care who knows that you need me to fill you with my prick, to fuck the living daylights out of you, to call you dirty names, to call you my horny girl, my little slut, because you need my big cock inside you, my lips on your tits, my hands on your arse, and it arouses you even more to know someone is watching now... apart from me who is already so hard for you. You like being watched my little slut, you just never dared to give in before.. you always liked the fantasy of wearing daring clothes without underwear.. to feel the eyes of all members of parliament on your curves... to be indecently touched by accident... and now I am watching you masturbate while tugging myself.. and another person is standing in the dark watching both of us.. should we ask them to join us?"

"Oh yes Malcolm.. I will do anything to please you... I am your little slut and I need to be fucked hard"

Malcolms voice drops lower. He has never been so nervous but he can't stop right now.

"You are a good little minister Nicola. That's why I decide to reward you and let the security guy step closer. I'll have him kneel down in front of you to kiss your lips and lick you.. you have always dreamed of being watched during sex and to know I am watching gets you incredibly wet and desperate. You still want my cock inside you so badly but his skills have you squirm with delight... you moan my name and look at me between half closed eyes.. you realise I love watching you.. I don't want you to stop... the look on your face, your moans and your helpless smiles turn me on so much... I let him take you over the edge just to watch you come for the first time... my cock is nearly bursting now.. I need to push inside you... now..."

"Oh yes Malcolm, please, fuck me.. fuck your slutty little minister"

"I can hardly open my trousers for the tension my cock creates.. He helps me get my dick out... he pulls you closer to the edge of my desk and I finally push inside you... he is hard too but he needs to take care of himself now... all I can think of now is fucking you... giving my little slut all she deserves and more.. to have you cry my name again and again and again"

Nicola is breathing heavily now. Her hand between her legs is working fast. Malcolm is watching her with his heart thumping. He gets up from the chair and desparately starts losening his tie.

"Fuck Nicola I am sorry. I am truly sorry. Forgive me"

Nicola hears his coarse voice but only manages to open her eyes by sheer force of will. Malcolm kneels in front of the sofa. He pushes the crumpled tie into her hand.

"Damn woman, please gag me so I can show you how very sorry I am."


	9. I've got you babe

They have finally made it to his bedroom for some much needed lazy kisses and caresses.

"This was some brilliant mediation work my lady" whispers Malcolm while nibbling on her earlobe. "Well mediation is all about creating a win-win situation" giggles Nicola, possibly a little smug.

Malcolm lets go of her ear and pushes himself up on his elbow to watch her face intensely. "Wait a minute. Did you fabricate this whole situation just to have me talk about some of my fantasies?"

Nicola smiles like innocence herself. "The choice was yours, wasn't it Malcolm? To fuck me just using your words or to fuck me without any words at all". Definitely not just a little smug.

"You manipulated me, she-devil, and I still fucked you afterwards".

"It's only manipulation if you don't like playing Malcolm" Nicola grins.

"One day you will be the death of me Nicola". Malcolm pulls her into his arms and resumes kissing her.

* * *

Early next morning Malcolm gets Nicola a cup of coffee to bed. She needs to get home soon to change and meet her driver. She must be very tired but she looks pretty and just a little sleepy. "Good morning dozy bint" says Malcolm and kisses the tip of her nose.

"C'mere" mumbles Nicola and tries to drag him back to bed. "You need to get up now love" says Malcolm.

"No need to hurry. Told Elvis to pick me up an hour late today. We could have another comfy half hour Malc".

Malcolm is heavily tempted to call in sick and stay in bed with Nicola for the whole day. Obviously he won't. But he'll be buggered if he can't spend some more minutes with this sweet woman who is smiling brightly now.

"Make some space then woman". He lies next to her, pulling her close and resting her head on his chest. "No touching though. Keep your hands where I can see them or else".

"Damn. You see through all of my manoeuvres Malcolm" grins Nicola.

"I am all knowing after all" hums Malcolm, perfectly happy just to lie here with her in his arms. There can be no such thing as karma because he is absolutely sure he did nothing to fucking deserve this.

"Malcolm?"

"Yes Minister?"

"Oh stop it" Nicola giggles. "Seriously now. Do you mind telling me what aspect of yesterday's ...er.. "procedure" you find difficult to talk to me about? As you may have noticed there was nothing I did not feel comfortable with"

Malcolm still feels slightly embarrassed to talk about this outside the bedroom. Well, technically they are still in the bedroom but they are already half back into their professional roles too.

"Fuck Nicola I know most people think I am a colossal cunt but even I find it inacceptable to bully someone into having sex with me. Even if it is just in my mind. Calling a woman a slut is not exactly my style either".

"Don't you think I don't know that Malcolm? You are a total dick 90 % of the time but I know you'd never force yourself upon anyone. We are working in an environment loaded with power and it's human to be attracted by it and imagine to change the dynamics. It's just a little game, a little mind fuck. It's all fine if everybody involved consents. Don't think I find it easy to accept I am an emancipated woman and still horny enough sometimes to beg you to blindfold and handcuff me and do whatever you like to me".

"Hang on Nicl'a you have never begged me to do this"

"No but I would love to be able to. To know I can trust you to not respect me any less for wanting to be a little submissive. You are a smart and powerful man and I would very much like to entrust you with my moments of need. And I would like you to trust me that I would think no less of you if you ever wanted me to penetrate that cute little ass of yours with a dildo. Or if you were too tired to have sex and only wanted to cuddle."

"Duly noted Nicola. So could we cuddle for some minutes now before facing the ugly world today?"

"Yes Malcolm"

"Oh and would you mind taking your hand of my cute little ass now? I find it very distracting"


	10. Some great reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot what plot?

Malcolm had been stressed all day. To cheer him up, Sam quietly decided some extra shouting opportunity was needed, either in person or over the phone.

She had carefully made a list of ministers that had earned the extra attention and put them in order of their availability. When she brought Malcolm his afternoon coffee and some biscuits she dropped that list on his desk.

"What's this Sam?"

"I thought you needed a little reward. Since everyone is so busy these days I created a time table of the unworthy. You just choose any time that suits you and pick the corresponding culprit without having to worry where to find them. Make it a three course bollocking if you feel like an extra treat".

"Sam, you are incredible. Thank you. Have a nice evening, will you?"

* * *

It was past six when Malcolm decided it was time for his reward. He took the time table and had a look. He sighed and rang Ben Swain's number. No one answered. The old shit was probably up to his usual shit, shitting around the whole building, leaving a trail of chocolate wrappers. The next person on the list was actually Nicola Murray. He sighed again. She probably deserved some bollocking but he knew she had had a hard day too and this would ruin all fun in shouting for him.

He dialled her number anyway.

"Malcolm! To what do I owe the displeasure of your call?"

"You fucked up today, Murray, and I should so shout at you, but I can't be arsed. Are you alone or are [Bolek and Lolek](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bolek_and_Lolek) still with you?"

"I am working on a speech with Glenn right know so could we keep this short?"

"Are you sure you want to continue working with Iron Glenn right now or would you rather have me invite you over to my office, darling?"

"Yes Malcolm"

"You know I am all alone right now and had a very long day.. a really very hard day Nic'la... very long... and incredibly hard.."

"Yes Malcolm"

"I heard you roll your eyes to Glenn just now, love."

"It's too late now Malcolm. There's nothing we can do"

"I think you should completely reverse your position on this. And with me."

"Anything else Malcolm?"

"Shouldn't you walk the extra mile Nicola? Come over to find me in my office.. maybe enter right after knocking and find me relaxing in my chair... thinking of you and stroking myself.. wouldn't you like that?"

"Actually I could really do without the sexual imagery Malcolm"

"Are you blushing now love? How sweet. Do you think Glenn realises that it's not anger that turns your cheeks pink? Do you think he can sense the shivers down your spine? The growing heat in your body?"

"Is that all Malcolm?"

"I don't suppose you could make the hundred-year-old man climb out of the window and disappear right now? Ok, how about: Don't fuck up anything else today, don't fuck Glenn and please fuck me tonight".

"I will do my best Malcolm."

"I am sure love".

* * *

"Malcolm?"

"Yes love?"

They were lying on Malcolm's sofa, pretending to watch the news, but secretly just enjoying holding each other close.

"You have been cheeky again today. I wonder whether you are trying to get some message across."

"And what would that be, love?"

"I can't help wondering whether you are trying to provoke some sort of punishment."

Malcolm's heart skips a beat. It's not like he had been aiming at anything really. Maybe testing the area a little. Probably subconsciusly too, ever since Nicola had mention fucking his arse.. he should have known that his growing interest would not be lost on Nicola.

"I have no idea what you mean Nic."

"Are you or are you not interested in experiencing being dominated Malcolm? To try a more passive role?"

This time Malcolm does indeed blush.

"Malcolm, sweetie, there is nothing wrong with asking for something you want. But don't expect me to do anything as a kind of punishment. If you ever decide to trust me with the complete power over your body and mind I will prove I am capable of that responsibility.

Malcolm has closed his eyes. His breathing has accelerated, his skin tingles. Nicola caresses his forehead and smoothes his brows.

"I would worship every inch of your beautiful body, try to imagine everything that will give you pleasure, would relieve you from the burden of doing or deciding on anything for that period, free your mind from any thought, leaving you to only sense, accept, enjoy. This is a present I would love to make if you wish to accept it".

Malcolm quietly lays his face in the crook of Nicola's neck.

"Oh Malcolm darling, you don't have to do anything right now. Just know that you don't have to earn any privileges or sanctions with me. I don't believe in angry sex. So many things in our lives are connected to some kind of force and control. I don't think our time together needs to be like that".

She kisses him lightly on the lips before softly fondling his hair. "You are so beautiful Malcolm. You deserve to be treated with respect, your feelings to be handled with care, your body to be kissed and cuddled and fucked in any way you desire."

She looks at this man who has so much power at work and so few resources for self care. She fears that some day her heart will expand so much that it will burst her ribcage.

"I promise not to ridicule anything you bring up. There's no need to be ashamed of anything Malcolm".

"Am not" he whispers to her neck.

"You are safe, Malcolm. I have got your back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just read Bolek & Lolek were called either "Bennie & Lennie" or "Jym and Jam" in English.
> 
> Please tell me you see the likeness with Glenn and Ollie too.


	11. Hold me now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First aid, Malcolm style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I have given up on any attempt of a coherent plot. Judge me :)

"So what kind of merry Murray mess you called me over for Terri?"

Terri jumps. She hasn't noticed Malcolm until he was right behind her. His talent of sneaking up on people is the thing that terrifies her most.

"Oh, hello Malcolm. Thank you for coming over. The minister is not feeling well and I thought we better reschedule this afternoon's press meeting."

"For the love of fuck, Terri, we won't reschedule anything. The useless wankers at Number Ten need all the support they can get stat. I'm quite sure no one will notice any difference in Nicola's performance whether she is sick, drunk or happy. Where is she?"

"Well Malcolm, if you must know, I had her lie down in the first aid room. You know, that room we are required to have in case someone gets pregnant and needs to have a regular rest. Which is kind of fitting seeing.." Terri's voice dies down to a whisper.

"Speak up, will you? You trying to subtly tell me Nicola got knocked up again?"

"Oh, no no Malcolm, it's just.." Terri looks around before she whispers "ladies' affairs, if you know what I mean".

"Jesus H. Corbyn, Terri! I know you all think I have been raised by wolves but I have you know that I have been brought up with an elder sister. You are talking about menstrual cramps? Get me a hot water bottle, some paracetamol and a cup of that bloody lemony tea and make it fucking snappy. I haven't got all day."

"Seriously Malcolm, I don't think Nicola needs any more pressure from you."

"Oh don't you? See, this is why I am at the heart of government and you are a useless fuck in the least important department. Now fuck off."

* * *

Malcolm makes a statement of checking his Blackberry in the most aggressive way to prevent being adressed by anyone. Terri returns with a tray and he follows her to the first aid room. It's right at the end of the building which is totally wrong for first aid but quite appropriate for anyone pregnant getting sick just being around the DoSAC wankstains.

Terri knocks and tells Nicola that she brought tea and a hot water bottle. "Oh and Malcolm is here to see you".

He hears Nicola groan "Fuck off".

"Good to see you too, Nicola. You look like something the cat dragged in." The room is as dark and cosy as they get in this ugly government building.

"Right Terri, now fuck off and leave it to me. Cancel all the minister's appointments apart from the press meeting. That is at five, right? So let the Minister rest until four. If I hear as much as a breath disturbing her, there will be blood. And I'm not talking artsy fartsy overlength cinema here".

* * *

"If you think your presence will cheer me up you can just fuck off. I'm in pain already".

Nicola is lying on a daybed under a blanket in fetal curl, pressing the hot water bottle on her abdomen and groaning.

"I am here because I need you to do this press meeting today Nic'la".

"Fuck off Malcolm. Let me die."

"Nic'la, you have given birth to four children and I refuse to accept that your period will bring you down this easily. But seeing that I am such a fucking benevolent person I have brought you some pain killers and will help you relax".

Nicola sits up for just a moment to take the pillls and the glass of water he is offering. Then she slumps down on the bed again, sweaty and shivering.

"If I will survive this, I am gonna kill you, Malcolm Tucker".

"That's my girl. Now just lie still and let me take care of you."

Malcolm watches Nicola's painful face and lightly massages her temples. He wraps the blanket tightly around her for extra warmth. He softly strokes her face, then her neck, fascinated how immensely sensitive her skin is. Nicola's body reacts to his touch as if it burnt her.

"Now there, pet, I know at the moment everything is painful but let me try to help you relax."

He softly kisses her collarbone. "The female cycle is so weird and beautiful. I will have to be very very gentle with you know because too much can be painful. But when I get the intensity just right.. like I am caressing your breasts now.. soft as feathers on your nipples.. it could give you a little pleasure, right?"

Nicola groans with another wave of pain but he is pleased to notice her nipples contract.

"Now what else would help you relax Nic'la? I would love to kiss your stomach but I am scared it might be painful. But maybe I can remove your skirt and tights so they won't cut into your stomach, okay? Now, isn't that a lot better."

Nicola still looks wretched but her breath seems to get easier now.

"Yes, deep breaths, you are doing good Nic'la." He smiles to himself.

"Now, there is something I know works for some women but if it doesn't feel good, you just tell me and I leave you alone, right?"

Malcolm softly strokes her stomach with just his fingertips. "I can help you relax by shall we say massaging you intimately now. Many women are very very sensitive during their period and personally I know someone who tends to get very horny too, right pet? It's all that extra blood flow and moisture and those damn hormones.. so if you don't mind terribly I would like to slip my fingers into your pussy to help you fight those cramps".

Malcolm's voice has gone very soft and he recognizes how Nicola has spread her legs a little. "There we are sweetie. Now why don't I put my arm around you so I can hold you close."

Malcolm sits next to Nicola, rests her head on this chest and pulls the blanket around her waist.

"Now I made sure no one will disturb us for the next hour or so. And we are at the far end of the building so no need to be careful. Just relax."

When he slips a tentative finger in her pussy Nicola gasps. He finds her flesh swollen and wet, and oh so sensitive. He has to avoid her clit to not overstimulate her. His middle finger plays with her entrance. "Now darling, do you like that? This feels amazing. You are so soft and warm. Would you like to feel my fingers inside you now? I'll take that as a yes."

He slowly inserts his middle finger into her. "Oh, isn't it wonderful how ready your beautiful vagina is, Nic'la? All warm and wet and ready to give you all kinds of pleasure. Do you want some more? How about I insert another finger and try to find that G spot of yours?"

He kisses her temple, watching her face relax, the painful expression giving way to a tiny smile.

"Mh, do you like the sense of being filled by me? Oh, did I find something there? Now, why don't I keep moving in that general direction until you ask me to stop."

Nicola moans, but it sounds less painful than pleased.

"You enjoying that? Now I will increase the speed and if it is not causing you any pain I will put my thumb on your lovely little pearl now. Just a tiny little circle massage, right? Oh, you like that.. that feels nice, doesn't it? Now if you don't mind I'll focus all my attention on getting you come, my love. Will you do that for me? Would you like to come?"

The wonderful look on her face. A mixture of pleasure, amazement and trust that will never cease to thrill him.

"Would you mind if I used some more explicit language now? I know it might help you come."

The smile on Nicola's face is affirmation enough.

"I want to fuck you so much, Nic'la. I want to put my hot firm cock into your tight pussy and fuck you right now in this room. You make me lose every bit of self control. I need you. I need to shag you senseless. I need to get deep inside you.. to fuck you hard and fast.. oh yes.. Oh, I feel you twitching around me, I know how much you need my prick just now, how no one ever fucked you like I do.. come for me, baby, spread your juices all over me, scratch my back and scream my name ... I will not stop unless you beg for mercy, yes, that's it, baby, yes... so good.. oh yes.. getting there, Nic, yes.. oh yes".

Malcolm holds Nicola close as she shakes and moans with pleasure that seems to have her body explode before it ultimately relaxes. He quietly stands up and pulls the blanket up before he kisses her temple once more.

"You're such a good girl Nic'la. Now have some sleep. I'll have Terri wake you at four. You will be just as magnificent at the press meeting".


	12. Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie's training to become a priest is simply the gift that keeps on giving.

Nicola was on her way home after a long Friday. Elvis had just picked her up with not one, not two but four red boxes for the weekend.

She had been looking forward to a weekend without the kids but certainly not to spend it mainly on work. Her phone rang with an unknown number.

"Hi Nicola, it's Malcolm".

"Oh hi".

Nicola never had the partition up. She had always felt that made her look more approachable. Sometimes she regretted that choice, this might be one of those moments.

"Listen, Jamie came round my place and he made me call ye. This is his phone by the way."

If she hadn't known him any better she would have said he sounded drunk.

"He made me drink with him".

Did he giggle just now? Did the mighty Malcolm Tucker giggle like a schoolboy?

"Okay, so you had a drink".

More giggling on the end of the line. So not just one drink, then.

"Jamie told me everything. You know, about the church picknick?"

"That colossal.." Nicola saw Elvis looking at her in the rear view mirror and reminded herself to sound calm and professional.  
"Sorry, love. Well, you cannot expect me to be very happy about that."

"Made me confess to him too. Bastard". Nicola heard someone in the background roaring with laughter.

"I don't follow you, dear. It's been a long day. Would you mind to begin at the beginning?"

"Told me ye told him I staged the church picknick. Stupid snitch. Said I'd better start confessing _my_ sins. Course I refused because I'm not in yer fuckin' cult. Said he'd give me absolution anyway provided I'd make atonement for it"

Now he sounded sulky. It was strangely like talking to one of her children.

"Alright, so what happened then?"

"Made me call ye. From his phone so I couldn't cheat. No rosaries".

"Well I am glad to hear that".

"Jamie said if I were really sorry I would have to confess something to ye in return. That's the penance."

"Right."

"He's enjoying this as fuck, the wee shite."

"Okay. Now, what is it you want to tell me?"

"It's.. it's no biggie really.. stop poking me, MacDonald, or I'll shove yer mobile up yer ass and set the damn ringtone on Rule Britannia".

"Okay.. listen, sweetie, could you try and get to the point now?"

She heard him taking a deep breath before he rattled like a machine gun "Told him how I had my first shag at sixteen behind a pub and how I fuckin' wished I had waited and lost my virginity with Ann Marie from school who gave me private tuition".

Nicola smiled. "Okay, so the point is private tuition. That sounds expensive"

"It was only a couple of weeks to pass the fuckin' Standard Grade".

"I see".

"Jamie says I should ask ye about this role playing thing we talked about.. fuck ye MacDonald I'm sweating spinal fluid here... if I could maybe get some private tuition. Said I'd need a lot of it for improving my manners, though he'd be buggered if he thought it would help at all."

"Did he."

"So this is my fucking penance. Sorry to have bothered you, Nic. See you tomorrow".

* * *

Nicola called Malcolm the next morning.

"How's my naughtly school boy doing? Got a hangover?"

"I'm Scottish, I can fucking handle my drink."

"So you were definitely totally in control of everything, right?"

"Aye. If you're hinting at what that wee shite had me tell you, consider it a phoney call. He thinks himself the Scottish Gervais."

"Quite. Listen, here's what we could do. You could come round for lunch. Bring some old pictures, just for the laugh. You dress up nicely. Some nice tight trousers, don't mind historical accuracy. I am not promising anything though. You know I have kids. This may feel too creepy."

"Fair enough".

"Then we will see if we can do about your learning difficulties, or we will never talk about it again. And don't even think I'll dress up as some fucking kind of school girl you pervert."

"Aye".

"One more thing, you'll have to help me with those fucking red boxes or there will be detention".

* * *

When Nicola opened the door, she saw a lanky guy leaning at the door frame, dressed completely in black, donning a pair of sunglasses. There had been an attempt to make the hair look like Joe Strummer. The slight awkwardness seemed genuine though.

"Hey Malcolm. Come in!"

Nicola lead him through to the kitchen and offered him a cup of coffee.

"You brought the photos? Let me have a look."

"There aren't many. Just a couple. Money being scarce and all."

"Oh look at you. Oh my god, your hair was amazing. Those curls are gorgeous. Oh, going for the dark mysterious look here. You must have been quite the heart throb then."

Nicola pushed the photos aside. "So where exactly would I get involved? Don't frown, you don't have to lie on the couch and tell me anything personal about your family and such, skip to the part that you would want to reenact"

"In short, approaching Standard Grades my marks were so bad my mam got me some tuition. Ann Marie was 17 and a very nice and clever girl from our school. I was sixteen and I thought school was a waste of time. I was only interested in being cool and getting drunk and having sex."

"One of the bad guys. I see. That's pretty standard so far."

"Right. Only despite of it all I was fuckin' shy and instead of asking a girl my age out, I had the biggest crush on Ann Marie, but of course it never happened. So when I had my first time, it was behind a pub, absolutely pissed, not with her. Just desperate to get it over and done with."

"Not very nice, was it?"

"No. Couldn't tell anyone but I fuckin' wished I had waited for it to be less fuckin' mundane".

"You feel you missed your chance with Ann Marie. That's what you confessed to Jamie?"

"Fucking wee psycho git. No one can turn my fuckin' lost youth romantic." Maclolm was lost in thoughts for a moment. "Anyway, thinking of your affinity for role play he hinted we might... find out..."

"Ok, so far I can follow. What subjects were most needed? I am a working mother. I haven't seen my childrens' home work for years."

"Mainly science and history. I wasn't half bad in English and Arts. The subject doesn't fucking matter though. Just this once you can talk all bullshit and I won't call you out" Maldolm smiles wolfishly. "It's more about the atmosphere and the inner agitation and not knowing what is going to happen if I just.."

"Sensing I was a swot at school you naturally thought I'd be an excellent choice. I admit you're not wrong but I am a little offended nontheless".

"It's not just that Nic'la. Look at you in that flimsy dress. I'm half hard already. You're perfect for the part".

Nicola sighed. "I wish we could do it the other way round. You must have been amazing bad guy even then. I would have had such a crush on you. But okay, it can't be helped."

"So you would..?"

"Yeah, if for once you trust me to get the tone right, why not give it a shot. I have never done real person role play though. Might be awkward. And it will cost you. A lot."

"What do you have in mind?"

"I want a wild card. Nothing to do with work. Strictly limited to private use. But once I draw it, you will have to obey my every wish".

"Deal".

"Ha! You have fallen for my little trick. I would have done it just to talk bullshit in front of you all day" Nicola smirked.

"Let's have lunch first. You look like you haven't eaten all week. And please don't tell me any of these clothes are actually from the seventies. If they still fit you I will have to kill you."


	13. After the Lunch break

When Nicola aka Ann Marie opens the door after lunch, she sees a lanky guy leaning at the door frame, dressed completely in black, donning a pair of sunglasses. He is about sixteen, trying to look cool but being visibly awkward.

"Hey Mal. Come in!" Ann Marie leads him through to the kitchen and offers him a cup of tea.

"You brought the books? Let me have a look." Malcolm sits down and puts a couple of books on the kitchen table. He avoids looking at her. She feels his eyes on her legs but when she looks up he is just staring at the books.

"So your mam told me you need some revision for your Standard Grades? Anything in particular?"  
"Science"  
"Do you have any questions? Otherwise we could just go through the curriculum and we stop at any point you have a question".  
"Aye."

After some introductory remarks on biology, Ann Marie makes Malcolm go through some worksheets while she makes another round of tea.

Malcolm is visibly struggling and getting angry. "This is rubbish.. what do I need to know this for anyway?"

"You don't like school, do you Mal?"

"It's fucking useless. Oh, pardon".

"It's okay, I don't mind swear words. But your exams are important Mal. You don't wanna be stuck in this shithole your whole life."

Ann Marie comes back to the table and looks over Malcolm's shoulder. Her hair tickles his face, he can smell her perfume, it's light and flowery (not what Nicola would usually wear but a reminiscence to her youth).

Malcolm blushes as he has begun to doodle on the worksheet. He tries to hide it from her. Ann Marie tries to get the worksheet and the romp about a little. She finally manages to pull the worksheet out of his hand. He has begun to sketch her face. It is quite sweet and she is touched.

"Mal, this is nice. I like it." She briefly touches his cheek before turning away. "Look, we need to focus or you'll fail your exam. Try to answer the questions now".

She sits back at the table to supervise him. "Why don't you take of your jacket Mal."

Her leg brushes his and his breath hitches.

"This does seem to stress you Mal".

"Aye".

"No wonder you can't concentrate if you're that tense. I'm not going to bite you, you know".

"Aye".

"You need proof?" she asks cheekily.

"Dunno".

Ann Marie leans over to him. She makes him look at her, flustered and agitated, and moves closer, very slowly, checking his reactions. His eyes flicker, her mouth is just an inch away from his. He feels his entire blood plummet to his belly before her lips gently touch his. He has kissed a girl before, but it's not been like this. This is slow and gentle and he feels her hand lightly touch his neck.

Her lips are soft and warm and playing with his, and he feels the tip of her tongue ever so slightly touching his upper lip. He cannot help but open his mouth and try to touch her tongue with his. He hadn't liked kissing before, it had been just sloppy and wet. It's so different now.  
The sensation caused by their lips and tongues meeting surge his entire body. It's not just that he is getting hard now which embarrasses him. He has closed his eyes, his hand is caressing her hair, he moans softly as his stomach seems to melt into a puddle.

"Better now Mal?" she asks softly. He smiles. Better than what? It's perfect. The most beautiful girl in the world has just kissed him.

"Mal?"

He leans over to her and touches her mouth with his finger. "You are so pretty, Ann Marie".

"Aww Mal" she kisses him again, and as he responds, she starts to gently nibble on his lower lip. This sends shockwaves through his body.

* * *

Nicola loves to have sex with grown up, experienced, fucking hot Malcolm Tucker, to touch his firm ass, feel his stiff cock, have his finger and tongue caress her most intimate parts, talking dirty, having him beg for mercy, wanting him so much, so bad.

She had never imagined she would love sharing tender kisses and shy touches with sweet inexperienced Malcolm so much. Somehow the magic has happened. She can feel it. Maybe her first time wasn't perfect either. But this is close.

So she wispers "My family is away for the weekend... wanna come up to my room?" and takes his hand to lead him up to the guest room that has to double as Ann Marie's room. It's pretty close too with a single bed and a small desk.

They sit on the edge of the bed and silently look at each other. Then Mal shyly touches her cheek and neck and they find each other's lips again. She feels his hand softly stroke her neck and moves her hand to the back of his head to touch his amazing hair. He smells like fresh linen and she loves that smell just so so much.


	14. Time after Time

She can't remember having spend so much time solely on kissing since.. an eternity. It's not horny or desparate or by force of habit.. it's sweet and innocent even if it's not entirely pure. She feels her whole body tingle with excitement.

They never have enough time for each other, with their busy professional lives and Nicola's children and their still trying to keep their relationship secret.

To spend so much time together in each other's company. Just sitting here, kissing. It feels like being a teenager, it's not a means to an end, it's like you have never been hurt by love before. Their hands are just caressing each others hair and neck, tentatively strokin a collarbone, goosebumps spreading over their arms and torso. The softer the touch, the larger the excitement. It's hard to separate even for a second to catch breath.

It's warmth, it's comfort, it's new even though it is familiar, it feeling like being touched for the first time ever and never wanting to be touched by anyone ever again. It's endless time, just to spend with each other now, not to think about anything else than don't stop, this is amazing and wonderful and it feels so right.

She had secretly feared this might be too kinky, to even just imagine to have sex with teenage Malcolm. She had not thought she would be able to go back, to become her teenage self again, to cast aside everything that is expectation and experience and hurt and custom and compromise.

When they slowly lie down on the bed they are still fully clothed, apart from their shoes, watching each other closely before their hands start to move. Malc gently puts his hand on Nicola's knee and it sends a jolt through her body. She very slowly starts to caress his upper arms, timidly moving under the sleeves just to touch his shoulders. His skin is warm and firm and he closes his eyes savouring her touch. She moves on to his shoulder blades that are tense and she moves a little closer to be able to kiss his neck and smell the amazing scent of linen and taste his skin. She knows he likes it as he pulls her closer to his arms and lets his hand wander to her back. His hands are on her dress but one of them has moved to her bottom and strokes it ever so very lightly. She enjoys his touch so she moves her pelvis closer to his. Her breath is as irregular as his.

The heat pools in her lower body and she feels how wet she has become. A brief memory passes her mind.. of a night when just holding hands with her first love did this to her.

"Mal.. do you want to.."

"Yes Ann Marie.." his hands move under her dress, touching the soft skin just below her bottom.

"You need to take your jeans off then"

He reluctantly lets her go to wriggle out of his jeans, revealing the massive erection in his underpants, standing next to the bed, avoiding her eyes.

"If you lose that T-Shirt too you may remove my dress"

He removes his shirt, shivering under her eye.

Nicola gets up and raises her arms. "Help me Mal". He removes her dress over her head, watching carefully not to catch her hair in the neckline.

She pulls him back to her, kissing him and working her hands through his hair. His hands are touching her ass again, slowly touching the sensitive bare skin below her knickers.

She'd expected him to go straight for her tits like any teenage boy but he seems to be happy just to fondle her. This makes her adjust her plans. There will be no penetrative sex.. just some very fucking heavy fucking petting with their underwear on.

Nicola sits back on the bed and taps on it. "C'mere Mal"

They lie close to each other and just touch each others body while snogging madly. There are no more words, just soft moans and closed eyes and hitches of breath as they drift to a time and space where nothing else matters. There is no time except this. There is nothing else but this. There are no other people, no more urgent needs, nothing to think about other than "can I touch you, do you like this, oh I enjoy your hands there, I need you to kiss me".

When Nicola starts pressing her hips to his and starts moving on his groins, the friction makes Malcolm come in his pants, shivering without making a noise.

Nicola pulls him close and holds him in her arms while his breath calms down. He still has his eyes closed, and she has never before seen this peaceful look on his face. She gently strokes his hair before she gets up to pick up the duvet from the end of the bed and pull it around him. Then she gets back in to hold him. Malcolm snuggles up some more to find a comfortable position for his head against her neck. "I never thought.. " he murmurs "Love you"

She just lies there, holding him, feeling an unexpected wave of sadness running through her. She berates herself for being overwhelmed by this experience, of feeling jealous of a girl in Malcolm's youth who only still exists in his mind, a girl who should have been the one to experience his first orgasm with another person. She carefully breathes steadily to fight back the sudden tears.

Then she hears his voice again, struggling against sleep.

"You heard that Nic? Never thought I'd lose my virginity with you. I love you."


	15. Bake Off

"Don't make me do that Malcolm".

Nicola gets up behind her desk. Malcolm is leaning in her office door, ignoring Glenn and Ollie.

"Get your shit together Nic'la. The BBC launches a new show and for some sick reason they asked you to be a contestant."

"Is this a punishment? Is this your way of getting back at me for last week?"

"For fuck's sake, Nicola, it's just a fucking baking competition. You are capable to throw some ingredients together, right? It's not rocket science."

"I'm a working mother, Malcolm. I don't even bake for my children's birthdays. I get them a fucking Sainsbury's cake each time".

"Tough luck, darling. You have to be in the first show. They'll kick you out after the first round anyway. C'mon Nic'la, it's your chance to turn from Glummy Mummy to Bickie Nicky"

Nicola sighs heavily. "All right then."

* * *

Later that week.

"The kids are with the in-laws, right? Can I come over?"

"No Malc, sorry. I need to practice tonight."

He snorted. "Practice what, love? Walk like a man, talk like a man? Getting shit done in your department?"

"Baking Malc. You made me do the show, I don't want to fuck it up entirely".

He heard her roll her eyes. She was right, though of course he wouldn't tell her. To look confident on TV meant practice. They did preparation for Paxo interviews all the time, so not looking a tit on a baking competition probably needed training too.

"I'm definitely coming over Nicola. Media training is part of my job."

"No! I don't want you to make fun of me while I try to get some basic tasks into my muscle memory".

"It's either me or Jamie. You know the rules when it's an appearance on national TV. Now if you'd prefer Jamie.."

"Yeah sure. Need the kitchen to be redone anyway."

"You'll be happy to hear that I have a strong bias towards it being me to help you when your muscle memory is involved darling" he insinuated.

He heard her take a deep breath. And another one.

"Okay, fine, but you need to give me three hours advance. Oh, and get me some kind of irresistable family heirloom recipe from the Scottish Highlands or something. I need something with a story to tell."

* * *

When he got there, Nicola opened the door in an apron that looked like it had been run over by a car. Her face was flushed, she had flour on her nose and shiny eyes.

He kissed her nose. "Now, making progress, chef?"

She lead him through to the kitchen that looked like a group of zombies had invaded and there had been casualties. There were some damn ugly things around that may have been intended as cakes but obviously had not read the job description and failed entirely at the first stage.

There was one cake that looked pretty normal though. Just a plain cake, nothing special, but home-made and Nicola was beaming like she had just given birth to it.

"I'm getting round to it, Malc! Look, isn't it lovely? I know, it's still not much too look at, but wait for the decoration".

"Nic, sweetheart, how much practice do you have with decoration of cakes?"

"Never done it myself, but it can't be that difficult, right? Look, I have bought all the ingredients for frosting and marzipan and liquid chocolate and so on".

"Nic, it's already ten thirty and I think you should call it a day. Best to have a fresh start with it tomorrow before you ruin your nice cake with some decoration gone wrong."

"But I need practice! The show is next week"

"You know I'm here to help."

* * *

Malcolm feels the warmth of liquid chocolate on his back. The smell is amazing, the sense of a soft brush painting delicate ornaments on his naked skin sends shivers of delight down his spine.

Nicola is humming as she finishes her work.

"Like it pet?"

"Naw, I need another go Malc. Sorry."

He feels her lips on the small of his back, slowly moving upwards, gently licking every inch of his skin. He moans with pleasure.

"I am terribly sorry Malc. It's incredibly nice of you to endure this."

"Hmngrgn"

"You are so sweet.. and you taste so good..." Nicola teases him.

"The pleasure is all mine Nic'la"

"So you wouldn't mind if I tried something more challenging?"

"What do you have in mind?"

He feels her hands caressing his buttocks.

"I thought about trying something more three dimensional"

"Be my guest".

He knows that Nicola loves his arse. She has made that quite clear before. He adores hers too.

He had not thought about how amazing it would feel to have liquid chocolate dripping on his bum, being spread by Nicola's gentle fingers and then.. being licked off again. He is wiggling below her, incredibly aroused by her touch and her tongue and by her soft bites into his sensitive flesh.

Judging by her breathing Nicola does enjoy herself too. She kisses his skin, she nibbles, licks and kneads as he moans with pleasure.

"You have been so patient with me Malc. I think you deserve a treat, don't you?"

"Yes please"

He feels another liquid dripping on his bum, feels Nicola spread it down to his entrance and very gently begging for admission with her finger.

He gladly gives her permission to enter.

Everything is warm and smells good and feels soft and strangely comfortable while Nicola's index finger slowly works its way inside him. She starts kissing his back and bum and whispering sweet filth to him before she enters a second finger.

It is bliss and she gently takes him over the edge.

"You're not doing that on the show, pet."

"Maybe for some bonus points though?"


	16. Chapter 16

I just found a photo online. Paul Higgins played a priest once in some play (Temple, by Steve Waters, Donmar Warehouse 2015).

Luckily that role is a CofE priest and not RC, so maybe I won't rot in hell for using that for further inspiration, ahem.

Never had a thing for priests before, not even the Hot Priest.

[via GIPHY](https://giphy.com/gifs/nolski-malcom-tucker-3LdJjdjUsuTHjJlEMg)


	17. Was it something I said?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm:"I just wanted to say to you, by way of introductory remarks, that I'm extremely miffed about today's events and, in my quest to try and make you understand the level of my, um, unhappiness, I'm likely to use an awful lot of what we would call violent sexual imagery, and I just wanted to check that neither of you would be terribly offended by that."

Later that day, Malcolm was finally getting some work done at his desk.

That was until Sam entered with bad news. „Malcom, Julius Nicholson is coming down to see you, and there is Nicola Murray on the landline. She said it was urgent.“

"For fuck‘s sake, all cuckoos flying over the nest again, are they? Right, put Nicola through. Oh, and please come and kill me if the bald fuck stays longer than five minutes“.

Malcolm picked up the phone. „Nicola, what the fuck's up, Doc?“

„I need to make some points about earlier, Malcolm, concerning your professional conduct“

„Hit me, darling“ Malcolm rolled his eyes as Julius entered his office. „Do it quickly cause Baldifuck has just entered my office and I can only take so much shit in stereo“. 

He glared fiercely at Nicholson who took a seat and put some fucking blue thinking crap in a folder on his desk.

„Please refrain from using sexual imagery in meetings Malcolm. It upsets staff and distracts me from important departmental work.“

Malcolm browsed through the folder to find Nicholson's usual weird diagrams.

„Your point has been duly noted on my "things I don‘t give a fuck about" list Nicola“.

„You don‘t mind that I had to have a lavatory break to get off on the imagery you put in my head, darling?“ Nicola murmured with a sultry voice.

„Fuck!“ slipped out of Malcolm‘s mouth, as he darted a quick look on Julius Nicholson. Luckily the bastard was occupied scribbling things on his stupid post it notes.

„Exactly. You know, every time you mention sexual acts, I have to think about performing the filthiest things with you. And much distracting that is too. All that teabagging talk made me think about rimming you, darling. Now would you enjoy that?“

Oh fuck. He could not help getting hard under fucking Nicholson‘s watch. Hopefully that wouldn't fuck up his entire libido. Where the fuck was Sam to get rid of him?

„Right, this is enough. I‘m coming over. Don‘t you dare to leave now“ Malcolm slammed the phone down.

„Thanks for shitting on my desk Julius, now you fuck off before I rip you into pieces like that folder“.

  
Julius started to protest when Sam came in with some pretended urgency. He finally fucked off taking his crap folder with him.

  
„Thanks Sam. Now could you get me a coffee and keep anything at bay for half an hour? I‘m going mental if I don‘t get a wee break from the inmates of this fucking asylum“.

After Sam had provided him with a coffee as dark as his soul he called Nicola back on the landline.

„Now darling… back to our conversation...“

„I thought you were coming over“ Nicola teased him. „I just wondered how you would lambast me in front of everyone at DoSAC… knowing just how much this gets me worked up...“

„You are a naughty thing, pet. Much as I value how much you are turned on by the thought of getting caught I guess the fuckers are still around?“

„Harder to get rid of than a bunch of Jehova‘s witnesses. Just as I have the most sinful deeds in mind...“

„Did ye really let off some steam after our meeting love?“

„Hmm.. I sure did. You know how I like it when you go all bad boy on me. Had to send Terri ahead back to DoSAC and pop to the ladies‘“

„Go on, Nic, sweetheart“

„The ladies‘ at Number Ten, Malc, the ones just around the corner from your office... I couldn‘t bear it any longer.. the touch of my panties on my cunt... I thought anyone could read on my face how much I wanted to have sex with you right then.. I got into a cubicle and leaned against a wall and rubbed my itching clit like a maniac“

Nicola‘s voice was a sensual whisper now. „I‘d love to do this again just now Malc. Talking to you just winds me up so much.. I am such a naughty girl“.

„Aye lass. You have no idea how much I would like you to do that now, too, or let me do it to you... Tell me all about earlier“ Malcolm said while palming his cock through his trousers. He longed to take it out and stroke it just now.. getting off to that sensual voice whispering sweet filth into his ear...but this would be professional suicide.

„I was rubbing my clit while thinking about you .. so close to your office.. desperate for you to come and find me… catching me relieving my pressure.. and then fucking me fast and hard in that cubicle.. putting a hand over my mouth to stop me from moaning too loud.. I came within seconds“ 

„Oh darling, I‘d love to relieve your tension just now“ Malcolm growled. „What about that rimming...“

„You would like that, wouldn‘t you? I know how you love my fingers playing there while sucking your cock. Imagine lying on your back and experience my tongue going all the way… very gently at all your most tender skin..“ Nicola‘s voice dropped even lower „It‘s such a sensitive and intimate area ... it‘s such a filthy thing and so lovely at the same time.. just like you my hidden gem“.

„Fuck darling, I need to sneak to the loo now too without anyone noticing my massive erection“

„Well, glad to be not entirely useless then" Nicola chuckled and hung up. Malcolm knew when he had lost a fight.

„Sam! Get me another coffee!“

Now for the lavatory.


End file.
